Read 1 Corinthians 7
This morning, I will not use many metaphors or innuendo.
Why? I don’t want you to have to ask your kids what something means.
I hope that you read the whole chapter. I hope that you didn’t stop because you had
been married for many decades and Paul had nothing to teach you, or decided you
would never get married.
I hope you didn’t stop reading because this story involves
one man and one woman, no side chicks or extra guy business.
What’s all this business about if you are not married, stay
that way. Didn’t God make man and woman
for each other and the procreation of the species? If you matriculated at OU
instead of OSU, that means make kids.
It’s the design, right?
If you had to label this chapter, you might call it marriage
counseling, conjugal matters, or love and libido. I suggest that this chapter
is about eschatology.
Don’t snow me. This chapter is about sex and marriage, or no
marriage, not the last things or end of the age.
The three preachers from the small town were gathered a few
miles east of town along a road that wound in and out of the trees and across
the river. People drove it year-round, especially in the fall to watch the
leaves change. So, it’s not western Oklahoma where we go from green to brown
and that’s it.
It was a nice drive on most days, but on this day, the three
preachers stood side by side with signs that read: THE END IS NEAR.
Cars would drive by, and people would wave or signal with
single digits, but they were not about to slow down or stop to see what the
message was all about.
The car would go by and the preachers heard tires screeching
a few moments later. This happened five or six times until one preacher—probably
the Presbyterian—said, “Maybe writing BRIDGE OUT would have been a better
choice of words.”
It’s an oldie, I know, but that was Paul’s message. The end is near. He didn’t know how near but
it couldn’t be much longer. That was Paul’s mindset and it enabled him to do
things that he might not have been able to do otherwise. More on that later.
Let’s get some specifics. Someone from Corinth wrote Paul
asking about marriage, sex, or something along those lines. We don’t have the
correspondence from the congregation and they did not submit session minutes
that year. So, we don’t know the exact question.
Paul must have written for a newspaper at some point,
because he didn’t bury the lead. What’s the lead?
It is good for
a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.
You might be concerned about what comes next if you didn’t
read the chapter this week. If Paul says, "But it's okay with another man,
I’m out of here."
Keep your seats, that is not where Paul is heading and I am
confident he wasn’t gay. C’mon, he couldn’t even accessorize. He said, but I know that most of you cannot
abstain. I get it.
Your present situation has you shacking up with anyone and
everyone and that dog don’t hunt, so go ahead and get married and satisfy each
other.
This is the 20th-century definition of a bachelor: an
unmarried man who drives to work from a different location every day. That was
First Century Corinth, including the church folks.
And Paul noted, “I get it. I understand. So keep your
marriage solid by satisfying each other. If you don’t, you have given Satan a
foothold.
Two exceptions when it is appropriate to abstain are for a
time or prayer or fasting, and I think that’s either, or, or both. This is not
fasting in place of Atkins, Keto, or the South Beach Diet. Is the Carnivore
Diet different from Keto?
This fast is designed to get your heart, mind, body, and
soul closer to the Lord by denying the physical self. It’s the fast that says, ”
I can do without food for a day or three, but Lord, I can’t continue without
you and I need to draw near to you now.
I’m fasting.”
And the time of prayer is not the mealtime prayer or your
regular morning or evening prayers. It is a time set aside just for prayer,
perhaps in conjunction with a day of fasting.
If you need to draw closer to God and you both agree that
prayer and fasting is the best course of action, then abstain from sex.
Otherwise, fulfill your marital duties, one to another.
Paul noted that this was a concession, not a command. Paul
hoped that people would stop getting married, but the evidence prevented that
course of action from being very effective. That wasn’t working, so go ahead
and get married and satisfy each other to the point that neither is looking
elsewhere.
Ladies, Paul had unique counsel for you as well. Widows and
single gals, try to stay that way, but if your procreatic nature puts you in
the same situation as the guys, satisfy this need in marriage.
But, if you can do this life single, go for it. This is
counsel from Paul.
This is a command delivered by Paul, but it is from the
Lord. How can I know that?
Jesus told us the same thing. If you get divorced and
remarry, in that moment both parties have committed adultery. This is not an
unforgiveable sin—yes, grace abounds, but it is not the course of action that
Paul prescribed. Let’s do some bullet points.
·
If you are single, try to stay that way.
·
If you get married, satisfy each other’s sexual
needs. But what about meeting other needs? There are plenty of other
instructions in our Bibles, but today, we are focusing on the sexual component
of human needs.
·
Don’t get divorced, but if you do, don’t remarry.
If you do, it should be to the same person that you divorced.
Hold your holy horses right there! Last week, you said if we
couldn’t work something out with another believer, then we should just take it
on the chin and move on.
Now you are saying that if I get divorced, my only marital options
going forward are to marry the same person that I couldn’t stand, or I can stay
single.
Like it or not, that’s the ticket. Christianity should have
a sign that reads: NO WIMPS!
C’mon, you can’t be buying this, can you?
That’s the design and what the owner’s manual says.
Humankind has been YouTubing alternative approaches for centuries. Stick to the
one and one. Better yet, go it alone.
It is also a difficult topic in counseling. Death and loss
of any kind is tough. Getting fired is tough. Getting evicted is tough too.
What is more difficult for some? Talking about marriage and
divorce using the counsel from Jesus and Paul. I have heard these things over
the years.
·
I was never more miserable than when we were
married. Jesus wants me to go back to that?
·
She was one-hundred percent Suka and
relentless in her intensity. I will let you look that one up on your own.
·
I didn’t want to live anymore. If I had to
stay with him or her any longer
And now, this is the biblical option presented to me: Remarry the same person or stay single.
There’s some other counsel on marriage and sex and burning
with passion, but we covered some of those at the first service. Let’s get back
to this eschatology business.
Paul thought that Jesus would return soon. He will.
Paul thought it could be a couple of weeks, years, or maybe
even decades. I don’t think he conceived anything on the order of two millennia
and we would still be expecting Jesus soon. . It doesn’t matter. Paul’s
interpretation of soon was enough for him.
We only have so much time left in these bodies, and we need
to put all of our efforts into serving the Lord by proclaiming the good news,
bringing people to profess Jesus as Lord, and living a life worthy of the
calling that we received.
Does it matter if Jesus has a reservation for 2025 or a
thousand years from now? At best, most of us get 80 to 100 years on the earth.
That’s a good run. Most seem to make it
past 50. There are outliers both ways.
Once upon a time, I might have computed a standard deviation or two to get some
real numbers, but those brain cells bugged out on me.
We should understand that none of us have much time in these
bodies on this earth to do the things that bring glory to God’s name—to live a
life worthy of the calling that we have received.
Bringing glory to God can be tougher for married people than
for single people. For this part, Paul was talking mostly to the guys here.
Being the provider, protector, and other demands of marriage can take away from
serving the Lord.
Cut me some slack, God. This marriage stuff is tough,
especially when the Lord should command everything you are and do and desire to
be.
If you are single and following Jesus, then you can go all
in on this discipleship business.
It’s tougher when you are married.
Paul didn’t think the bridge was out, he knew the end was
near. He just had a conservative estimate of how long that would take. OBTW—so do we. It’s got to be soon, right?
That’s what the Bible says.
Soon in the course of our own life experience, would surely
lead us to think in terms of months and years. Nobody here today has lived a
century. Surely, it’s got to be a decade
or less.
Soon in the context of eternity could be another two
millennia. In the context of this counsel, it doesn’t matter. We should give
everything that we have to the Lord all of the time. We should be all in all
the time.
I think a better title for this chapter might be
Compromises. There’s the goal, the target, the objective and some primal forces
at work and sometimes in conflict. They
have perpetuated the species for a long time and perplexed many as to how to
navigate this world.
The challenge is more difficult if you have divorced and
want to give this another try.
Let’s wrap this up.
If you are unmarried and can stay that way and give
everything to serving the Lord, go for it. That is the best course of action.
Few can follow this path. I love my "the Few, the
Proud" shirts that still hang in the closet. I mostly wear my "NOT AS
LEAN, TWICE AS MEARN, STILL A MARINE" shirt, but if you can follow this
path of singleness, then it’s just you and the Lord running this race.
It becomes an exclusive relationship.
There are fewer than 1% of the people of this nation who can
claim to be the few and the proud. I’m
estimating—guestimating—there are fewer Americans committed to singleness so
they can fully serve the Lord,
If you are called to serve—in whatever capacity the Lord
placed on your heart—but you can’t do this unmarried thing or this abstinence thing,
or you came to the Lord after you were married, then the married couple that is
now in Christ should satisfy each other without holding back, with a couple of
exceptions. Either or both should be by mutual agreement.
·
For an extended time of prayer.
·
For a fast that draws us near to the Lord.
Paul’s mindset was that the situation in this world is
temporary. This world is passing away. The Lord’s return must be near. If you
don’t have to start a new relationship, then don’t. If you are a slave, be
content for the short time you are on this earth to be a slave.
Some of the best people that I know are slaves to Christ, so
having what surely seems unfair for 50 or 100 years is bearable if you are
serving Christ. Eternity is a long time to put our lives in perspective.
Have you ever seen those pictures or renderings (I think we
have some of both with some telescopes in deep space) of the galaxy or whatever
can be captured in an image of the universe, and there is an arrow pointing to
a minuscule dot on the picture, and a note that says you are here?
I make the analogy of that dot being our 50-100 years of
life and the rest of the stars representing eternity. Could we not spare a
hundred years out of eternity exclusively for the Lord?
The answer for most is that is a bridge too far. For most of
us, we will haver or have a marital partner. Try to get it right the first
time. Grace has not abandoned you if you didn’t, but do the best you can to
satisfy each other if you can’t run the race of singleness.
Amen.
